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7 Things to Stop Expecting from Others

Many of our most disappointing experiences directly result from unrealistic expectations, especially regarding the people in our lives.

If you’re able to examine and adjust what you assume others will do or provide, you can become more self-sufficient, realistic and positive. In addition, you’ll be better able to focus on the things that matter most. Here are seven things you should stop expecting from others, starting today.

If you expect nothing from somebody you are never disappointed.

Here are 7 things you need to stop expecting from others in order to be happier:

1. Validation
Don’t expect other people to validate your worth. Your value lies within yourself. Other people are tuned in to their own lives, busy projecting their own needs and wants onto the world around them. They aren’t emotionally or mentally available to confirm your worth. What they say and do with you is a reflection of their own expectations, and not to be confused with your own.
2. Praise and Appreciation
You may receive praise – or not. You can’t depend upon it from others. If you do good things expecting others to acknowledge it, you set yourself up for disappointment. Don’t do something to earn people’s gratitude; do something because you want to do it, it helps you feel better, or it matches your integrity. Praise yourself. When you take a step in the right direction, overcome a funky mood, or do something kind for others – pat yourself on the back. It doesn’t matter what others see. What matters is what you think about yourself. Make a personal commitment to engage in encouraging self-talk. This leads to self-validation.
3. Motivation
No one else can be your full-time cheerleader. A friend can occasionally help pick you up when you are down, but they can’t force you to enjoy life. It’s up to you to set goals and take action to reach them. Stop expecting someone else to do the dirty work for you. Goals needn’t be dramatic, but they do need to move you forward toward something you value. Sitting around waiting for motivation to strike you is a losing battle. Find something – anything – to move you off your bum. Get into motion. Start your blood flowing, engage your mind in something outside of yourself, and feel the momentum build.
4. Understanding
No one has had your upbringing, walked in your shoes, or lived your life. Experiences that formed your current view of life are totally different than that of every other person walking this earth. So don’t expect someone else to “get” who you are deep inside. Some will relate closely; others won’t have a clue what you are talking about. Maybe it’s time to let go of insisting others think the way you do, and allow them to have their own perspective, based on their own unique experiences.
5. Optimism
Only you can find the possibilities in your day, your relationships, or your life. Sadly, the average person is looking for what is wrong so they can fix it and then feel happy. Just listen to the conversation around you; you’ll find a plethora of complaining and blaming. It’s your choice to participate with that, or to blaze your own trail by focusing on what can go right instead of what is wrong.
6. Mindreading Abilities

People can’t just immediately tune into what you’re thinking. This means you have to communicate openly and honestly, making your real feelings clear.

For example, your boss doesn’t know you’re hoping to be promoted soon because you’ve never made it obvious that career advancement is important to you. Or, that attractive new person in your life doesn’t realize you’d love to go out because you’ve never actually communicated any interest!

The lesson here is simple: if you want something to change, you’ll need to tell people what you’re thinking. By all means be tactful and thoughtful in your presentation, but aim for transparency at all times.

7. Solutions

We all have problems. Others can help us sort through potential solutions, but if the problems is in our life, it’s one we helped to create. It’s up to us to resolve what we instigated. Think about it – has anyone’s suggested solution to your problems set right with you? We usually find others’ recommendations miss the mark. Only people with a victim mentality expect others to come to their rescue. Victors review options, take action, and adjust as needed.
Peace begins When expectation ends.
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